Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Pass the Pabst Blue Ribbon, Riley T-Dog

The Kaje is back for a limited time only. Things that were neglected in my absence:

Holy balls, is this guy comparing boot camp to torturing false confessions out of people? And Riley too? I figured from the gay rights debate that conservatives have little use for the concept of “consent”; but I didn’t know they knew absolutely nothing about it. I know! Let’s ask Senator McCain and other soldiers that were tortured by foreign forces! Maybe they can tell us the difference!

Another letter from Riley T. Jay made me notice something: calling everyone else a “conformist”, going out of his way to be different at all costs…MY GOD! He’s not a moralizing nutbar- he’s an INDIE HIPSTER DOUCHE! And a really ironic one, I must say. Kudos, sir. You even fooled me.

You may remember Dan Walters as the guy whose letter got its ass kicked by mine. He’s also crazy, sexist, and elitist. I think he’s saying that the 25% of Americans that are abysmally stupid are like pretty girls, and everyone else is an ugly old feminist that secretly hates them because we envy them. Not because they’re huge stupid sexist racist bigoted assholes. It’s because they’re better than us and we’re jealous. I guess.

And what the fuck is a “positive nuisance award?” Is he saying that Gloria’s actually right? Does coherency have a liberal bias now? Everything else does.

Finally! The tea baggers did not go unnoticed by yours truly. If you visit Scott Meeker’s blog, you may have gotten a taste of my totally choice letter that was TOO HOT FOR THE GLOBE. Here’s the rest:
It’s only been a few weeks and it seems that the media has forgotten the nationwide Tea Party. You can only accomplish so much by marching in the streets and teabagging the White House. It’s time to fight!
I have taken it upon myself to form a Southwest Missouri chapter of Fight Increasing Socialist Taxes (FIST) Forum. This organization encourages FISTing-- assertive and effective techniques to raise awareness about the current government’s liberal taxing policies. These include such strategies as letter writing, organizing boycotts, civil disobedience and twittering; plus simple assertiveness training. You can look us up on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter; or you can visit our website at fistforum.com. I encourage all true Americans to FIST with their friends and family!

For the record DO NOT ACTUALLY GO TO FISTFORUM.COM. Unless you're into that kind of stuff. Kaje don't judge.

The one year anniversary of the blog is coming up! Mark your calendars for the 26th, and brace yourselves for AWESOMENESS!

(by “awesomeness” I mean “an interactive poll or a quiz or something”)

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