Thursday, April 2, 2009

Never Mind the Never Mind

Darn it all, I‘m putting off my hiatus until after this post. I can’t stay away, not with these three doozies!

Francis G. Bliss tries to stir up taxpayer rage against imprisoning murderers for life. Never mind that the death penalty actually costs six times as much, or all that crap that that hippie Jesus said, but whatevs.


My favorite part is the last sentence. “Get some female pregnant?” Way to go out of your way to dehumanize women, dude.

Ed Goebel thinks that we don’t need animal abuse laws or other sorts of animal welfare because humans have a natural compassion for animals. Photobucket

In the same breath he says that God made animals humanity’s meaty playthings. Hmm.

And finally, the jewel of the day’s harvest…Jim Keener, a 9/11 conspiracy dude!


You know how I can dismiss 9/11 conspirators out of hand? If it’s true that the Bush Administration planned the attacks, they probably would’ve grudgingly admitted it after some half-hearted denials. The Republicans would spin this into a good thing, and the Democrats and the media would roll over for them. The few non-sickos would’ve gotten upset, and this would be perceived as “whining” by the apathetic and the humanity-hating TV-sick jackoffs. Before you knew it you’d see bumper stickers that say “Fly A Plane Into A Skyscraper--It Pisses Off The Liberals!” (printed in a star spangled or rebel flag scheme of course) and absolutely nothing would be done.

Look at the past eight years and tell me that you can’t see that happening.

Anyway, I am going to get yelled at for posting again. I AM GOING ON HIATUS STARTING…NOW. FOR REAL-REAL THIS TIME.

Never Mind

Something has come up today. Now's as good a time as any to put the blog on an indefinite hiatus.
Will Joplin Globe Madness ever return?Hard to say. Time will tell.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Lay Off the Brown Sugar

The past few weeks or so I’ve been suffering a severe case of the fuck-its, compounded by my inexplicably weird-acting internet connection. Seriously, I’ve been trying to compose this post (links, Photobucket*, just logging into stupid Blogger) and it's taking nearly two and a half hours. I've got work in the morning people! When you factor in existential angst, it’s been hard to see why I should bother. H
owever, after I read a doozy this evening, I decided I had to break my silence.

First, here’s one I missed: a hilariously racist pining for the good ole’ melting pot. A melting pot is fine, Gilbert Millner says, but only as long as the right races are added in the right amounts.

He’s not racist! In fact, he’s three times as not-racist as your average racism-apologist---not only does he have black friends, but Asian and Hispanic ones too!

Flash forward to today. Peggy Ellis has apparently changed her name to Alberta Anders.

Oh me oh my, where to start?

How about her belief that nudity and sex automatically equals immoral?

How about the fact that at one point she complains about homosexuality in one show, only to later consider switching from Oprah to Ellen? Ellen. I've never watched Brothers and Sisters, but it must have a whole lot of homosexual content to out-gay a show that’s hosted by an actual out lesbian.

How about the gut-busting phrase “the sex act”? Cripes, I can hear her saying that in my head! She sounds like my fourth grade choir teacher OH GOD I CANNOT UNHEAR IT PLEASE PLEASE SOMEBODY STOP THE HORRIBLE VOICE

*It is 12:45. I've been trying to log into Photobucket for an hour.
For some reason it won't allow me to exit read-only mode. So fuck it- I'm not going to waste two more hours slogging through my shit connection making a shit new account on their shit website (despite already having an account there that worked perfectly fine before) to waste another two hours to upload two shit pictures. The shitty Blogger uploader is all we're getting.