Monday, May 26, 2008

Greetings, Friends of Rita

Does anyone even read the comics anymore? I know I do, but only on Sunday, and only the good ones*, which isn't very many. Hell, a lot of them are soulless husks written by committee, computer, or senile old cartoonists due to be replaced by computer committees. Those ones I skim just to enrage myself, which I'm wont to do.

The days have long passed since one could turn to the funnies for a smile. I found out, sometime way back in middle school, where the real laughs are held in your family newspaper.

That place is the Voices section. That wonderful, magical place; that wildlife reserve dedicated to preserve those most rare and beautiful of God's creatures - the Crazies, the Whiners, the Stupids. Look! To your far right, you'll see the dazzling plumage of the Rita Crowell, tinged with subtle shades of insanity and godbaggery. To your left you'll see a Northern Well-Intentioned Leftie, trying valiantly to teach pigs to sing. Oh no, a Leroy is attacking the boat AAAAAAHHHH

For too long I have kept my Globe mockings to myself- the time has come to share this gift with the world. Watch this space for prime nuttiness, my friends, and feel free to skip the funnies.

*which nowadays amounts to Lio. Man I love Lio. And that one that replaced Doonesbury with the girl and the horse is good sometimes.

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