Slacking off quite vigorously

I'm back at my undisclosed location with my craptacular NetZero connection. Huzzah. Let's see what I missed over the past few days, in no particular order.

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Rita Crowell ruins Christmas. Fuck.

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bwap bwap bwap baybees bwap bwap bwap Roman empire bwap bwap bwap ACLU

Also, Steve Goebel and Bill Hawkins did some random bwapping too. They're quite good at that. *

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Linda Jackson is this season's first utterly deluded waste of oxygen and gasoline culture warrior to break out the War on Christmas meme. Indeed, Linda, let's be sure not to forget what this season is all about. I am, of course, talking about our Lord and Savior, George W. Bush.

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[today]

These "emails" and texting whatzits are too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of the telephone!

[flashback to late 1800s]

Talking to someone over these "telephones" is too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of the telegraph!

[flashback to late 1790s]

These "telegraphs" are too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of the pen and parchment!

[flashback to whenever letter writing was invented]

This "letter writing" is too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of glyphs on stone!

[flashback]

These "glyphs" are too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of pictographs on cave walls!

[flashback]

These "pictographs" are too cold and impersonal! Bring me back the good ol' days of just talking to someone!

[flashback]

Grunt "talking" grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt! Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt!

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Anne Kettenbrink, did I tell you I want to have your babies? ANNE KETTENBRINK I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES.


*EDIT: I've received a question asking how to pronounce "bwap". It's supposed to rhyme with "hop". It's the sound of monotonous droning- picture muted trumpets and Charlie Brown specials.