Monday, March 16, 2009

One Sentence Wonders

I was checking the letters for something besides Snoresville local issues when I saw my name in a letter's one sentence preview description.
Johnny Kaje’s remarks (Globe, Feb. 28) stating that women do not have a soul gland in their ovaries to bestow personhood status as an embryo is another example of an arrogant unbeliever mocking God.
A reply to my letter! My heart leapt in my throat- the writer had a strong opening sentence and I couldn’t wait to read the rest!
I clicked, the letter loaded, and I could finally read the rest:

Gordon W. Thompson

Grove, Okla.

…that’s it? No expounding on the point that this is a bad thing? No Bible quotes? No phony-ass passive-aggressive “I will pray for you”?

Just one lousy sentence?

That…that hurts. Damnit, they’ve gotten to me. The arrogant unbeliever is breaking out the old sad face. Here I go... <:(

Speaking of single sentences, Donald A. Miller Sr. has written one of the most beautiful sentences to ever grace the Voices page. Bask in the glory of this sentence:
The croissant-eating wine-drinking liberal pukes can take everything now that we have a foreigner with their mind-set in the White House.
What else can anyone say? It’s perfection. Joplin Globe madness, distilled in a single sentence. It brings a tear to my eye. Well done, Donald. I'm putting away the sad face and breaking out the happy face. :D

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