Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven. Also, heterosexual.

Ever since Eve plucked the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, every person in this world has been plagued with sin. All sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord, and the simple act of accepting Jesus Christ into your heart will absolve you. All sins can be forgiven, so sayeth the Lord.

Wait, did I say “all sins”? I’m sorry, I meant every sin except the gay buttsex.


I mean, seriously, YUCKIES.

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MEANWHILE



Steve Goebel’s brain poops on a piece of stationary; sends it to Globe.



Francis G. Bliss thinks that citizenship hinges on whether you have a gun or not. (Hey! That reminds me of Starship Troopers!) He also states that Sarah wasn't pandering to the media; then he goes on about how you HAVE to do goofy stunts to...pander to the media.

From this letter we can conclude that Steelman was not pandering to the media; she was just catering to their lower tastes and desires.




Finally, LOLWTF?

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