Friday, June 6, 2008



Susan Golis really, really does not like the word “kudos”.

Now she’s getting jumped on in the comments for wasting space that could have gone to more important topics; topics like “Did Jesus ride a Triceratops to school?” or “Bush did 9/11!” no doubt. However, I feel this is a much more stimulating topic. If you were a Language Nazi like Susie here, what words would be rounded up by your Language Gestapo?

My Top 10:

1. “Politically incorrect” and all variants thereof. It’s just a PC term for “reactionary asshole”. Whiny, snotty Archie Bunkers who feel their special privileges being rightfully stripped away and are sooooo offended.

2. “Multitasking”: Never liked this word, never will, and no I don’t have a reason. Just say “doing more than one thing at a time.”

3. “Activist judge”: Used exclusively by people who have no idea how government and judiciary works. Yeah, the judge declared that your stupid mob mentality wasn't gonna cut it. THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO DO, YOU STUPID FUCKERS. Go watch some Schoolhouse Rock, or take a sixth grade social studies class, and then get back with us.

4. “Vagina”: This one wouldn't be banned; however the proper usage would be strictly enforced. When most people say “vagina”, they mean “vulva”, which sounds sexier anyway besides being the accurate term.

5. “Ironic”: See “Vagina”.

6. “Emo:” Fine when used with actual emo things. However, when anyone is anything besides a bubbly or aggressive extrovert, they’re suddenly “emo”. I’m sorry, but actual emotions kind of predated your much-maligned subculture since THE DAWN OF HUMANITY.

7. “Empowered:” Similar to “multitasking”, no particular reasoning behind this. How about “I feel grrrrrrrrrreat!”, I feel inspired!”, “I feel like I can kick all kinds of ass!”, instead.

8. "Homemade:" Food companies use it all the time, and it's false advertising and annoying besides. Unless you have some squatters in your processing plant, or the manager of your fast food joint sleeps in a cot in the basement, it is not made in a home and is therefore not homemade. At the very least, use "homestyle" instead.

9. "Chiropractor:" Change to "Overpaid Quack Backcrackers". Or "Backquackers." Heh.

10. Any combination of "traditional" "family" and/or "values": Used almost exclusively, and thus perverted, by insecure, fun-ruining control freaks with effed up belief systems.

See? It’s not a waste of a topic at all! Kudos to Susan for bringing it up!


UPDATE: Weekend letters are up, and they all suck so they're not being posted here. Bummer.

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