Where were you when the Maggie stopped turning on that September day?

Esther Berlanga-Ryan wants to make you cry today.



Esther, if you want to write for Chicken Soup for the Soul the Globe, I have some advice. Personally I find the last sentence kind of clashing with the rest. I can’t help but hear it in annoying little sister talk. “Guh! What did you THINK I was talking about! I mean seriously, DUH!”

Also, you forgot to include Jesus and/or a kid with cancer. We want to see some waterworks here, honey!

You’re well on your way to be a prolific glurge email writer. And to my trash folder where I keep all those emails.

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When I started reading this letter, I had my trigger finger on the comment button, ready to combat the Dipshit Pro-Life Woman Hater’s Club. I was chomping at the bit (literally- they make me wear this so I stop eating babies) to demolish this argument.



But then I noticed the name. Attaching that name to the end of the argument does all the work of debunking it for me.

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I have yet another tip to lower our nation’s gasoline consumption.



Kevin, STOP HUFFING IT SO MUCH.